3/24 morning diagnostics report.

🟣Ana: we had trouble getting out of our head this morning. Too many internal distractions; sore knees, grumbling belly. We got there eventually though, to that place where it feels like we're floating just outside and above. In my mind's eye I can look down and see myself sitting there, eyes closed, legs crossed. It's comfortable out here...wish I didn't have to be tied down to this corpse.

3/25 morning diagnostics report.

🟣Ana: I don't know if this is a common experience or not, but I volunteered at my church a lot growing up just because I kind of didn't have any choice. My parents were very involved, my dad being a pastor's assistant, on the elder board, and eventually a pastor himself. If he said I needed to volunteer for something, I didn't really have the option to say no. Besides, my whole family would be there anyway.

so if you've ever had to herd kids around, and especially if you've ever needed to get a group of kids to stay quiet and sit still for an extended period of time (say, during a lesson or a prayer) then you know what it's like trying to meditate while plural. I could be the most focused dead girl in the world, but if the others in here get bored and restless...it can be hard to stay in a meditative state!

but on the other hand, developing the skill to be able to keep everyone in here quiet and still when I need them to be quiet and still is a good thing, and one of the benefits of regular meditation, I'd say.